Monday, August 25, 2008

Sure don't see this every day...

(CREDIT: pennybuckets forwarded email)

Talk about having your camera ready at an opportune time...

Friday, August 22, 2008

How to cope with work

Pennybuckets at it again...

Phase 1
You are listening to Stevie Wonder.
(Your first day at work and all is fine and great.)

Phase 2
You're listening to HOUSE music.
(After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you're coming or going anymore)

Phase 3
You are listening to Metal.
(This is what you feel like at month's end)

Phase 4
You are listening to Hip Hop.
(You become bloated due to stress, feel sluggish and suffer from constipation)

Phase 5
You are listening to GANGSTA RAP
(After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a 'good hair day' feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine!!!)

And Finally...
You are listening to Techno (on Ecstasy)
(The truth - how all employees end up eventually...)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Art on the cutting edge

Sometimes, eating food just isn't enough to satisfy the inner artist's appetite.

(from pennybuckets email)

Friday, August 15, 2008


Another from my sister...




Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.<>

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every
effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
sc heduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
;subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one)

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's
all the time needed to drin k a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management


My sister sends me the funniest shtuff...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Setting up PHP on IIS 5 (XP 5.1)

1. Download both PHP and PECL (NOT the non-thread safe file) Windows zip packages from:

2. Extract PHP zip into C:\PHP

3. Extract PECL zip into C:\PHP\ext (make sure you're not adding the PECL folder but rather the contants)

4. Create 3 subfloders in C:\PHP - sessions, upload, log

5. Create new file php.log in C:\PHP\log

6. Add ";C:\PHP" (without the quotes) to your Environment Variables.
  • Right-click "My Computer", select properties
  • Select the Advanced tab and click Environment Variables
  • In System Variables, select "Path" and click the Edit button
  • Paste ";C:\PHP" (without the quotes) to the end of the existing string

7. Add New "PHPRC" System Variable
  • From the Environment Variables window, click New under System Variables
    • Variable Name = PHPRC
    • Variable Path = C:\PHP

8. Add PHP mapping to IIS
  • From IIS mmc, right-click "Web Sites"
  • Click the "Home Directory" tab
  • Click the "Configuration" button
  • From the "Mappings" tab, click the "Add" button
    • Executable: c:\PHP\php5isapi.dll
    • Extension: .php

9. Configure PHP.ini
  • Copy php.ini-recommended and rename to php.ini
  • In php.ini replace the following:
    • extension_dir = "./" with extension_dir = "c:\PHP\ext"
    • session.save_path = "/tmp" with session.save_path = "c:\PHP\sessions"
    • upload_tmp_dir = with upload_tmp_dir = "c:\PHP\upload"
    • error_log = filename with error_log = "c:\PHP\log\php.log"
    • extension=php_mysql.dll with extension=php_mysql.dll

10. Restart IIS

11. Test
  • Create new web site in IIS
  • Create file in new web site: phpinfo.php with the following as content:
  • Open new file in browser. If config page loads, you're done.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Enabling Security Tab for Files in Windows Explorer (XP)

1. Windows Explorer -> Tools -> Folder Options
2. Click on the "View" tab.
3. Scroll to bottom - UNCHECK "Use simple file sharing (Recommended)"